He Always Was
by BlackBandit111
Summary: Post TASM2, major spoilers. A policeman finds Spider-Man at the clock tower, gives him some friendly neighbourhood help, and he realizes something along the way. Oneshot, no slash.


_WARNING: SPOILERS: So I just saw Spider-Man 2 again and I was thinking about what happened after the scene where Gwen died, and this sort of...happened. Disclaimer: Don't own...wish I did because then I could Spider-Man/Avengers crossover, but...I guess we can't have it all._

_Enjoy the read!_

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Carter got the radio transmission about someone needing to check up on the power grid- where Spider-Man was last seen- and Carter was all too willing to volunteer; plus, he was closest, and so figured this would be the most efficient. Driving the three blocks to get there, Carter let his mind wander; what would he find of the masked hero? Would he be there at all?

Pulling up, Carter's eyes widened with the obvious signs of the battle that had gone down here, swallowing down the concern that was rising in his throat. Spider-Man was fine. He had to be. He always was.

Stepping quietly out of the car, the dead silence of the cloudy night weighing the atmosphere and sending an eerie stillness across the deserted power grid, Carter walked carefully across the wreckage, picking his steps through the debris and avoiding the loose wires strewn haphazardly across the ground. Blood was splattered here and there like some demented artist had decided his canvas was bland, and Carter once again forced the worry down to the depths of his heart.

Spider-Man was fine. He had to be.

He always was.

Wincing as sparks exploded to his right as a wire _popped_, Carter narrowed his eyes as he ducked around fallen structures, making his way to the main building that controlled the grid. The doors stood open and death surrounded the whole area.

Carter gulped and entered with his gun at the ready and found the two dead servicemen inside. The reset button had obviously been pressed at some point that night, the key jammed in the emergency unlock space it was meant for. The signs of hastiness and panic were present, scratches around the hole that indicated the hands that inserted the key had scrambled frantically before managing to get it fully in.

Carter continued out the back of the building and still the whole grid was silent. Carter felt chills dance their way up his spine, but he continued to the way back, to the clock tower that had been built for the servicemen to know when to switch watches.

When he saw it, his blood froze in his veins.

The glass domed top was broken and caved it, chunks of glass strewn on the ground where they'd fallen and shattered into a billion pieces. Carter's fingers trembled as they pulled out the keys to the doors and slowly, timidly, they turned the key in the lock.

The doors opened silently, and grief filled the air like a tangible thing. Carter found something in his chest caving as he heard the heart wrenching, anguished sobs that floated out from within, and he told himself firmly to turn back the way he came.

But he couldn't. He knew whose cries they were even if he'd only seen them once before, and he couldn't leave the poor man alone to his thoughts.

Making his way through the clock tower and following the screams of "_no no no stay with me please no no no I can't I can't-"_ he came across a set of double doors. Pulling out the key ring again that he'd snagged off one of the guards in the power grid main building, he tried one, two, three until the door yielded silently, the lock barely making a click. Carter pushed one of the doors open slightly and edged his way inside, shutting it softly behind him.

The bowed figure clad in ripped red and blue had his back to the officer, his shoulders heaving as he cradled something delicately in both arms. Blonde locks spilled over one arm, a hand dangling limply towards the floor from Spider-Man's embrace.

And all at once in one terrible, horrible moment, Carter understood.

"I can't," the young man was crying, huge heaves shaking his shoulders. "I can't do this without you, I- I'll follow you anywhere, just _please_ don't leave me here-" His body began rocking back and forth, and for some reason Carter was dully surprised that the first signs of shock were setting in. The rocking, the repeated words, the shallow breathing. Self comforting gestures where he felt alone in the world.

His head ducked further and shifted, the side of his face visible to the young policeman. Twisted in anguish and deep, deep self loathing, the undoubtedly handsome face was younger than even Carter, who was barely twenty five. Brown locks lay in the young hero's face, long eyelashes gleaming with tears.

Carter looked away and backed up a bit, exiting and going down the hall a bit before clacking his boots a few times before reentering.

Spider-Man was looking straight at him and- God, how young was he actually? Sixteen? Seventeen? Huge brown doe eyes were filled to the brim with tears. Carter's breath was stolen.

"I-I- you," he stuttered, and Carter was concerned to find his face alabaster, his hands shaking badly from where they gently- oh, so gently- were holding up a still form of an equally young girl. There was a stream of blood coming from her nose, obstructing her otherwise beautiful, peaceful features, letting the universe know the true state of her sleep.

She was undoubtedly dead.

Swallowing, Carter forced himself to remain calm, going for his gun at his belt slowly. Spider-Man's breath hitched as Carter uncocked it, throwing it to the ground. The clatter echoed all around the clock tower, and it was then Carter noticed the gears all fallen around the young hero.

"It's alright," he said, making sure his voice was low and soothing and not at all threatening, "it's alright. I know it wasn't you. I know."

Spider-Man's gaze flew down to the pretty blonde in his arms, his voice choked and strained and full of absolute misery. "I-t was, though," he choked, hugging the listless form closer to his chest, pressing her up against himself. "If she hadn't- if I'd made- if, if, if-"

"Alright," he said again, and Spider-Man gulped down huge lungfuls of air, like he couldn't breathe. "Calm, Spidey," he said, calling the young man's attention back to him and away from the girl, "calm down. For her. Where does she need to go?"

Spider-Man seemed to lose himself a moment, face growing green, and Carter was all at once extremely overwhelmed with the surge of worry, an ache in his chest. Was Spider-Man going to be sick?

No- the unmasked hero swallowed hard, blinking rapidly. "I- yes," he said, and his voice sounded hollow as his gaze distanced, "I...yes." But he said nothing more.

Carter's heart softened at the lost look on the kid's face. "Do you need a ride?" He asked. "I can get you wherever you need to go."

"I- I don't-"

It was in this moment that Carter realized that Spider-Man was in no state of mind to be making decisions of his own, and so he said instead, "come on, Spider-Man. I'm giving you a ride to wherever you need to go."

Then, turning his back and remembering that he could always return later to get his gun, he left the way he came, trusting the young man to be following. Halfway down the hall he gave a glance over his shoulder just to be sure, and the boy was ambling along carrying the blonde, a limp to his leg, and upon closer inspection Carter realized his whole foot was shaped the wrong way. Swallowing back the waves of empathy crashing over him, he made his way through the power grid and stopped at his car, opening the back seat door. He placed a hand atop the kid's brown locks to guide his head into the car so he avoided a concussion, too.

"Where do you need to go, bud?" He said, opting to leave Spider-Man's title out for the moment. The boy had enough on his plate.

"I-I-d-d-d-don't-" And now the kid's teeth were chattering, too.

"Are you cold?" Carter asked, already headed to his trunk to pull out the emergency shock blankets, draping them over the hero and his young- girlfriend? Friend? Sister?

No, not sister. Too close in age and too dissimilar features. Unless they were step siblings?

"Th-th-thank y-you," Spider-Man chattered, and in that moment Carter didn't see the fearless man who had saved him from under a car. He saw a frightened and very traumatized child.

"Don't thank me," he said quietly, guilt welling up within him for some inexplicable reason. "Please."

Spider-Man was silent.

Carter decided to take them to the police station first, to drop off the girl. Then he'd...deal with Spider-Man.

Spider-Man would be fine. He always was.

But when Carter forced the young man to part ways with the girl (a girlfriend now, by the shattered look on his face and the frantic calling of "Gwen! No, you can't! I have to keep her safe!") and he saw that absolutely broken look in his eyes, Carter realized that he truly had no idea what to do.

"Who is this?" One of his friends- O'Nielsen- had asked, the twinkle of familiar sorrow in her eyes.

Carter looked up and met her gaze. "One of Spider-Man's." _One of his friends. One of his family. One of his loved ones._

And she had understood.

And when he asked where Spider-Man needed to go and he'd said, "anywhere but here," Carter hadn't said anything, taking him to the Brooklyn Bridge on a whim, emptier by this time of night and void of the traffic that there usually was. People were home with their families by now.

And looking into the young, jaded face that hid his trembling hands in his coat pockets and gave on farewell nod to the cop, Carter realized another thing.

Spider-Man wasn't always as fine as he led on.

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_Alright! Thanks for reading and please leave me a comment on your thoughts! How was the characterization of Carter? (Also, I have another fanfic with him, if you want to check it out. It's called "What is Lost")._


End file.
